I can’t cope

[Captain24]

T/W Self harm

It’s so hard on my own. @tyme @Bow. I realise I rely on here too much. 

I am feeling so low, isolated and alone. I feel like I am done with everything. 

Content/trigger warning

The urge to sh is so strong. I need to hurt. I need to feel pain, feel something. I need to get away from myself. 

Im not strong enough to take any criticism so please be kind. 

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 , whilst you say you rely on here too much, remember it's not forever.

One thing my psych said to me in the past was, "When people are well, they don't go to seek help for the 'fun of it'". 

I believe there will come a point where you will come here for a fleeting moment to say hello, but the reliance will be less. However, at this point in time, while you are waiting for your next clinic admission, you may need some added TLC and care - and that's totally ok.

I'm sure both @Bow and I can say that we have been in a similar place. Well I know I have. When one feels helpless within, it's time to reach out. 

We care.

[ArraDreaming]

Hey Cap, good to see you, I care about you.

[Captain24]

I can’t do it @tyme 

[Captain24]

I’m feeling really distressed 

[tyme]

I'm so sorry to hear how distressed you are. Would you consider calling your local hospital or SCBS? @Captain24 

You deserve to be supported at this time. I know you have the inner strength even if it feels so hard right now.

[Captain24]

I did try to call earlier but couldn’t get through. @tyme. I’m not being dismissive or anything else that I’ve been accused of, but our hospital isn’t equipped. 

I’ll try again

[tyme]

Yes, you've mentioned that before @Captain24 . I know they are not equipped, but surely they will have something in place - eg a patient transfer? Please keep trying. 

[Captain24]

I’ve given up waiting for SCBS so I’m going to go to bed. Apparently I need to stay up until 10pm anyway, so I guess it helped. 

Im still in a really bad way but I am safe. 

Sorry for jumping on in a mess. I will pop right on back out.

Ps @Bow I got more Lego. I got the rabbit and the campervan. Plus I’m putting in an early order for Bumblebee. He was my favourite transformer. 

[Stout]

Bumblebee haunts me. Like my arch nemesis. I don't know why they allow my life to be a mockery and destroyed in yet another looming life storm. What have I done to deserve all this greif and troubles. Why can't they fess up and help me to fix the mess and traumas?