Being misstreated

[Troubled_One]

Thanks for the advice @Alessandra1992 I am trying to do this.

I feel like my head is being squashed in on and there is nothing I can do.

Anne, I think you are right that this trust thing has been about my brother the whole time, I really thank you and sandy for understanding this.

I sent my brother messages saying I am hurt that he did not call me last night when he said he was going to. I said sorry if you feel it is my fault, I am trying to make this work.

I am not sure what to do from here, I feel like anne that I am going to be on lifeline every night and just not sure what to do.

Thanks for the help anyone reading and helping me in this thread. 🙂 Lee.

[Troubled_One]

So, I am not sure what is happening to much anymore. Today suffered from severe panic attacks. Felt the worse I have, even after talking to lifeline.

Spoke to my dad.

Realised I did not give anyone the opportunity to say how they feel even myself.

Still feel like shit.

Edit: Not sure even if this is the right answer.

[Alessandra1992]

Crikey @Troubled_One
You are singling yourself out for especially hard treatment..you are not doing anything wrong..exploring your thoughts and feelings is very helpful at times, and at other times can be really hard..see what I am reading is you blaming yourself.. And with families, dynamics of communication can be very tricky indeed..
I get a very strong sense that you are trying to build bridges, maybe you might want to consider one of those bridges that opens up in the middle?
So at certain times the bridge is open, and traffic flows smoothly in both directions ( calling mum, chatting to dad, emailing or calling your brother) and at other times of day, the bridge is actually closed to let the boats pass through underneath..
Maybe some of the feelings and experiences fall into being on one of those boats..that some of your family need to let the boats travel to and from down the river, and eventually the bridge opens again and you can try again..
On other hand this might not make any sense either

Panic attacks are a complete pain in the chest for me, frightening but they do pass..you are heading in a healing direction Lee, let time pass and see what happens,..

[Troubled_One]

Yeah I don't know if it is me or my family doing this.

I feel like I am trying to be manipulated, by my parents.

But I am hoping to see them tomorrow to sort things out. I do not think anything has been happening the way I thought it was. Obviously there still are reasons there in the way that are blocking the real issue.

[Former-Member]

Sound like you have a lot going on the family.

hope you are getting good support. 

sometimes organisations like Lifeline can be a good contact point too 

[Troubled_One]

Hey @Former-Member thanks for the tip, I did this yesterday. It helped me to talk and get things off my chest.

I am seeing my parents today and hoping to sort this whole saga out.

[PeppiPatty]

Dear lee,
Love the proper support your getting from members like Sandy and that cool motor Jedi person with knight in his name :0)

I'm rerreading your timeline and honestly it reads like you have dearly missed your brother. Can you feel that too ?

Is it Sandy that writes about dealing with family dynamics ? I am also struggling with that and I'm older than you.......I've learnt walked into family situations Just wanting to ' be myself. '

For instance

I'm not a cool person in my mums eyes. That's okay. I'm not wealthy..... I wear daggy clothes and my new obsession is crocheting doilies. So when my very Cool brother comes to Where we live......Mum has openly lied about how she is treated by me so he wants to spend more time with her.
Though I am understandably upset,
I could

a trip her up.
B see what happens next

I did b. she naturally was complaining about me one day in front of me, my brother watched me and what I did. I did not react but stayed very quiet. It was hard though.
Then.".......wonderful things happened. Whenever he comes to visit now, he walks straight up to me and gives me a big hug. It's beautiful.

No one can change my mum but I can change myself.
Can you keep up that love to your brother and that remember always your natural good - self. It's like side stuff like
Money
Ego
Jobs
At the end of the day we all gotta show what we're made of an Lee, your intentions are very good.

[Troubled_One]

Hey Anne,

So Anne I am going to say it, is big word, you are very methodical. Hehe. I think this is what has helped me through this, mentioning to call my brother, offering ways to help me which are a tangent to what I am thinking, without this I may have tripped up a long time ago.

And is funny you mention about being quiet with your brother and he understood this, I think this is what I did today with my parents even though my brother was not there, I explained myself, stopped and listened and in the end came up with the right answer.

I said I think if I had of mentioned my brother in the first place we would of not gone on this long journey if I had of just talked about it.

But for me it has been very hard with the situation I have been thrown in to to just come up with the right answers straight away. But today I think I did.

Being through all the hospitals, in and out of places, back at my dads, trying to resolve things with a brother I have not spoken to since I was a teenager. Is very exhausting.

I got to thank all the people who have helped.

Is it still over, I do not think so but perhaps I can keep trying.

[Alessandra1992]

@Troubled_One
Lee what a revelation! You are talking with and listening to your parents and giving yourself time to view your family differently..!!
Your parents are listening..they may not agree, they nay not even understand but the fact you are talking!! Exciting to read..And I love what @PeppiPatty writes..Anne explains things so well..

[Troubled_One]

Hey alessandra,

Thnx for the reply. Yes it is great I feel like maybe there is a connection there.

The wierd thing is and I am going to talk to my psychologist about this is when I think of trusting and getting along with my family its like I get panic attacks because it is still not working. But if I think there is no trust there I can see the possibilities of trust working. Riddle me that?