Lived Experience Forum

[Isaac]

I feel like I'm currently going through a quarter life crisis. I find little satisfaction day to day, I have to force myself to go do the things that I used to find so much joy in while running a social media page and trying to stay relevant, keep up with my friends, family and relationships. I don't know where to put effort in and where I shouldn't be until I end up just putting no effort in anywhere. I have been turning to alcohol on weekends without even realising it as a way of coping but all it does is brings down the important people around me and make them worry. I have no feeling of real purpose or direction and I feel like I'm falling behind. For people who have experienced similar, what were/are some of your coping mechanisms. 🙂

[Jynx]

Hey there @Isaac welcome to the forums. First off just to let you know I've sent you an email so keep an eye out for that. 

I am sorry to hear that things are so overwhelming for you at the moment, sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. I can totally relate to the notion of feeling like you've gotta try to 'keep up' with everyone on social media and that in itself can be both exhausting and really demoralising too. Something I try to remind myself of is that people are often only presenting their 'best self' on social media, and we don't truly know what might be going on underneath. So sometimes it ends up feeilng like everyone else is out there living their best life whilst I'm struggling to tend to my basic needs. But more likely, they've got their own battles going on too but are just keeping it hidden. We all gotta cope in our own way and recover at our own pace. Do you reckon a social media break could do you some good? It's helped me heaps in the past. 

Also just wondering if you've got anything going in terms of professional support, like a counsellor or therapist? Especially if you're turning towards more unhealthy coping like alcohol, can be a sign that we need a bit of extra support around us. 

[LilMapleLeaf]

Hey @Isaac 

I've been there. I'm heading towards the end of my 20s now (OMG I'm so old 😫) but it wasn't till like last year that I felt I finally "found myself". That sounds so cringe but I hope you understand what I mean.

It was literally after I lost everything I had, my marriage, my career, my home, my health, my income, my support where I was able to find a sense of purpose and drive. Not saying you have to go through some big ordeal to find yourself at all, it's just sort of how it worked out for myself.

Something I found that made a huge difference for myself was discovering what my core values are and living in line with them. When I was doing things that wasn't in line with my core values I felt so purposeless and everything was so much harder to do. Now, whatever I do I always check they are in line with my core values before I say yes or no.

I've just found this link here which gives you a guide on how to find your core values if thats something you're interested in giving a go.

https://scottjeffrey.com/personal-core-values/ 

This may or may not help you but I know for myself that figuring out my core and who I was deep down really helped me align myself and make life a little bit more meaningful. Also just had to add, you aren't falling behind. There is no schedule for how life should look!