Not sure what to do !!!

[Shaz51]

Hello @Bea and welcome to the forum

how are you my friend ?

my mum is 88 and is back in her house with a 8 week transition plan so trying to get mum to accept all the care in those 8 weeks

[Shaz51]

ohhhhh nooooo @Bea , @Appleblossom , @Owlunar , @greenpea , @Former-Member , @Former-Member 

aunty did not drop in this morning === awwwww , mum ended up doing what aunty was meant to do this morning

[Bea]

Adjustment to new situations takes time
but transistional plan sounds good. The goal is not to be 'as you were' but to have adjusted to the new situation in 8 weeks, is that right? To
be then connected into more home help (council maybe) if you need it. Maybe other things like taxi card if Mum can no longer drive, or a meal delivery service a few times a week if cooking is now too hard?

Your Mum may appreciate it if she can keep her usual routines then (hopefully) accept some help on top. Eg washing day still Monday. She sorts it but someone else hangs it out. She writes the shopping list, but it get's delivered maybe?
So it will still be her home, her way, just with "the help" 🙂

Best of luck! I bet in 8 weeks you can look back & say Wow, look where we are now.

[Shaz51]

thank you @Bea 

how are you today xx

my mum is 88 and very indepent lady

[Owlunar]

Hi @Shaz51 

So your Mum is 88 - I should remember that - and very independent - and when your aunty didn't turn up and do whatever your Mum did it

She is one tough little old lady - I hope I am that tough when I reach her age - not that long to go actually - I have longevity genes as well - mmmm - but I have council help

Does your Mum still cook - it's a good habit to maintain - I have a lot of easy recipes - or rather dishes that really don't have recipes - they consist of whatever I have available and remember to get the items I need when they run out - like today

Bacon stir-fry - really easy but  bit messy - but - I asked - does your Mum still cook or does she have meals delivered?

It must be really hard for you right now Shaz - with your Mum being so feisty - maybe she can do more for herself if she has someone doing the heavy work - not you - you do enough of that with your business

I think of you with this problem and hope my daughter doesn't have all of this in 12 years time - but I have the council help - I don't like pre-prepared meals though - they always taste alike and people insist on adding cauliflour to everything and there are a few things I really won't eat and cauliflour is at the top of the list

Tough yards Shaz and I am really glad you share it here

Your second Mum getting protective

Dec

[Bea]

Hi @Shaz51, hope the transistion home is progressing - the journey may have good & bad days I suppose... wish you the best xx.

I have an aunt (86) who moved herself, when widowed, from her house to a 2 bd 'independant living' apartment in a 'village'. She cooks, cleans, shops beacuase "I can still do that" but says "when I can't, I'll get help". "If I can't walk, I'll move to the 3rd floor & if I lose my marbles I'll move to the 4th". (3rd floor is nursing home & 4th is a locked memory section).
I love this women & her practical mindset! I don't seem to be naturally like that, but want to head this way.

I think maybe independance is a mindset - my aunt considers herself independant (as do I) in her village as she decided to live there & how she lives her life day to day just as she did before- just different surrounds.

Not mentioning this as I think your Mum should move (certainly not my biz) but just coz she may get a bit more home help in the future doesn't mean she can't still call berself independant.

[Shaz51]

thank you @Owlunar , @Bea 

She is one tough little old lady-- my mum sure is my second mum @Owlunar 

soo proud of her , like I am soo proud of you

I have longevity genes as well, so when I get to that age in 33 years to see what I am like

wow 33 years to catch up with mum

she is having meals on wheels three days a week , she cooks for herself for the other days

today ahe is walking around her kitchen with no walker , she is such a strong person like her grandma who lived in her own home until she was 95

Hello and hugs @Former-Member , @greenpea , @Appleblossom , @Former-Member , @Jacques 

[greenpea]

Lived in her own home till 95!!!! @Shaz51  now that is inspiring 😄

[Shaz51]

my great grandma was my super @greenpea 

and she always sent me cat birthday cards for my birthday

[greenpea]

@Shaz51  they made them tough back in those days :). Isn't it sweet what we remember about our grandparents I remember my grandma teaching me how to waltz .... and I still remember 1,2,3,,,,1,2,3 🙂