That is really common @Polly48 - that's why people can get stuck in these patterns for a long time!
Changing your thinking patterns does take time. It’s not an instantaneous decision that changes your whole perspective in a single moment. Rather, it takes ongoing practice for new thinking patterns to become habitual. This is because of how automatic unhelpful thinking patterns are – which makes sense given they’ve developed throughout your whole life! I’m not saying this to make people concerned that changing their outlook will be impossible, but rather to clarify that it is often a gradual process, so don’t expect to see changes overnight, but keep persisting to shift your thinking styles.
There are some tools which can help identify and change your thinking patterns: This worksheet can help you get used to identifying your automatic thoughts in response to different situations, and becoming aware of how these impact on your feelings and behaviours. This thought monitoring record expands on the other worksheet to include columns to identify the unhelpful thinking style (“distortion”) being used, to come up with an alternative, more balanced, thought, and to notice the outcome of modifying the thought on your mood and behaviour.
