@PeppiPattyyes, after i posted that reply i thought about it and, realised where i went wrong.

for some detail, i got my parents back together there for a meeting and spoke about understanding and a few other things which i felt were important. we did this before but my father likes to sit out of contact so this time i made them sit down and talk.

i realised i never voiced this to my brother. i think this is where we are going wrong and where you might be getting the idea anne, that my brother and i are not communicating. we are but knowing you understand each other, my brother, dad, mum and me is key. I think this is what you mean?

but, it is difficult. i am having a rough time at times but am persisting. i am hpoing to talk to my brother and say this and maybe he will get a better picture of what is going on. i think this is what you mean anne?