@Eve7 @outlander Today was much better. I was still anxious and up late past midnight despite trying to settle at 10, but in the end, I slept and relaxed about being on time ... missed the first 40 mins but no dramas. Had a big long day and was well refreshed. The lady I looked for had only booked in one day ... so I may see her another time ... had to let go. #rd day for me tomorrow.
Part of the issue ... is figuring out ... where I fit re standards and which groups I should be in ... and allowing myself full natural rights to enjoy my music making finally after .... so long. Not having to worry about others needs... but learning to assert mine. No trauma trigger today. Good playing and lots of convivial chats.
Sending gentle warm good vibes.
