Lived Experience Forum

[unown]

Howdy all, I've got a history of struggling with my mental health but found my anxiety worse than ever over the past month. I made a big choice (resigning from my job and trying to move back to Perth) because I thought it was the right call for me but I'm struggling a lot with following through. I'm also feeling a lot of guilt for what I see as dragging my husband down with me because he's supported me and come along on this whole journey.

I accepted a teaching job right after graduating in 2022 in a rural town at the top of WA. My housing and everything is tied to the job and while I had some big wins and wonderful moments of joy I also struggled a lot with feeling overwhelmed and being really hard on myself. I had some bad lows last year but the one that came on in week 6 of term 1 this year was the worst of my life and left me feeling quite unsafe because I was certain I was stuck and that triggered unsafe action where previously I'd only had urges. Despite setting ourselves up assuming we'd stay for 5 years I submitted my resignation on Monday because it was the only option I thought I could handle (rather than reducing my workload or trying to switch to another school). This means we have to get rid of most of our stuff and only keep what can fit in our car (which is salary packaged for bonus stress 😩) to drive down to Perth because I'm not eligible for relocation support. We had some luck initially with selling stuff but it's slowing down now and I'm having a hard time culling things knowing that a lot of it will likely end up needing to go to the tip because we need the house mostly empty to do our vacate clean and move. We have a place to stay lined up in Perth and I can kind of imagine building a life up again when we get there but the 2-3 weeks here decluttering and everything are really hard to wrap my head around. I'm trying to focus on one small thing at a time but I keep getting caught up in feelings of attachment to stuff I should let go of or worrying about other things that need doing. I've been doing my best to reach out for mental health support and it has been helpful at times but I'm just really struggling to believe everything will work out right now. Has anyone else made a big change like this where they had to start over fresh?

[tyme]

Hey @unown ,

Welcome to the forums and sharing what's been going on for you. Any change can be quite a challenge, let alone a complete upheaval after thinking you'd be there for at least 5 years. 

Teaching is a stressful job as many of the teachers here can testify, yet it can be very rewarding. What i've noticed is that a lot of teachers put every thing into it when they first start out which leads to quick burnout. 

The main thing is, you've done the right thing in doing what's right for you. Yes, the change is hard, but whilst you are around, something can be done about it. If it was coming to the point where your life was hanging on the balance, then certainly, stepping back was the way to go.

I'm hearing the stressors that come with stepping away, yet riding out this storm will provide many eye-openers. 

Continue to connect with people so that you feel less alone in this.

You deserve to be supported.

Feel free to contact our lovely counsellors M-F 10am-8pm AEST on 1800 187 273. You deserve to have an ear to listen to you.

Hugs

[Radarears]

🫠

[tyme]

Hey @Radarears ,

Hope you are okay. 

There's always someone to talk to here if you need it.

[Radarears]

No not really.  Decided to log in because technology and I are not friends, forums and social media are my worst nightmares and since I'm going crazy trying to manage my mh issues which are off the Richter scale atm I thought y not?   I have had to shut down my social media and other forums due to a serious stalker known to me both online and in real time.  I'm very guarded about any online interactions but I do need to connect somehow.  

[tyme]

Hey @Radarears ,

I'm sorry to hear of your online experiences.

Please know every here is anonymous. If you feel there are issues with anonymity, please don't hesitate to contact us on team@saneforums.org

We want to be able to support you through this struggle. We are real people with real like MH experiences, including myself.

You are not alone.

[Radarears]

Thank you.🥴😵‍💫

[tyme]

Also @Radarears ,

Use what works for you. For me, I used these forums as part of my own mental health recovery before I joined SANE as a peer worker. It was so helpful for my mental health because I could remain anonymous, and share without people knowing my identity,

I don't connect to social media such as FB, Insta etc. I find it too harmful to my MH.

Please look after yourself. 

[Radarears]

Due to stalking harassment and threats I had to shut down my pages which I enjoyed.  I decided against signing up in a different way because yes it wasn't in my best interests and I couldn't deal with the what ifs.  I'm very cautious and wary about this forum but I've found the "man in the street" support and suggestions etc invaluable in regards to finding new ways to manage.

[tyme]

Hey @Radarears ,

It's always good to be cautious in any online context. 

Do what you feels right and comfortable for you.

@unown , I also wanted to check in with you - how are you going tonight?