My Mosaic

[rav3n]

Oh wow that sucks that she's been reluctant to read it @Bow! I see that she's trying to encourage you to speak instead but it seems like she's lost your trust instead. Have you thought about getting a new psych? I think some places you can just request for a transfer/change at the reception (maybe email them if you're not comfortable talking) without having to directly speak to your current psych - it could be different at your place though.

Those SI thoughts just pop in and out without warning sometimes, if they pop up again I just wanted to remind you to please reach out to your supports - or if you're still not feeling up to talking to them, there's also these:
Lifeline 13 11 14 https://www.lifeline.org.au/ 
Lifeline Text Support 0477 131 114 https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-text/ 
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 
https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/ 
If feeling unsafe, please contact 000

hope you sleep well 💗

[Snowie]

Good afternoon @Bow 

Hoping sleep came easy for you and today is going well

Lots of 💗💗

[Bow]

Thanks @Snowie 

I slept okish last night but i have been so tired today. Struggled to get through my psychologist appointment and then I went and waited at my SW office for my gastro appointment and was so sleepy. 

frustrated with my psychologist appointment. I mentioned what I have been doing…. Or more so what I haven’t been doing and nothing. I guess I should come to expect that from them all now anyways. No one cares. Oh well. 

gastro appointment was ok. Waited something like 45mins for a 5-10min consult. Thank goodness it was public health. I was anxious about mentioning my ED and some of the behaviors, but he was ok about it. I’m booked in to have a colonoscopy within the year. 

im home on the couch now. I booked d into after school care incase my appointment went late, didn’t need it in the end. But oh well, she can have a play while I lay on the couch. 

how’s your day been?

[Snowie]

Sounds like a busy and full on day @Bow Well done for getting through it all.

Some time to yourself sounds very much needed. I'm sure D is enjoying herself!

Any plans for tonight or an early night happening? Well as soon as D is asleep anyway.

Day been not good.

[Bow]

I’m just so frustrated and fed up. Over being so dismissive and invalidated. [edited by moderator]. This…. What is going on with me at the moment is nearly always the cause of a medical admission. My SW is heaps concerned cause she knows mostly all of what is going on cause she actually asks and seems to care. But everyone else…. Oh she’ll be right. Fuck it! She’s not right. She’s spiralling quickly. 

[rav3n]

hey @Snowie, sorry to hear your day hasn't gone well. do you want to talk about it?

any plans for tonight? hope you can find some time to rest and recover 💗

[Snowie]

Haven't got any advice @Bow 

I know that downward spiral. It is in every part of our body and mind. You can see it happening, yet feel powerless to stop it.

Sitting with you hon 💗💗

[Snowie]

Hey @rav3n 

I think that was meant for Bow

[rav3n]

@Bow i'm so sorry to hear this morning's psych session didn't go too well. i know painful it can be to feel constantly invalidated and unseen, i'm here with you 💗

i'm glad you've been able to tell the SW what's been going on for you. it can be hard communicating how we truly feel, it takes a lot of strength to open up. 

are you safe at the moment?

[Bow]

Thanks @Snowie 

@thanks @rav3n  yeah I’m safe at the moment. Just really struggling with a lot of things