Life after Postpartum psychosis and now a mixed affective episode

[Sazza]

Hiya all,

9 years ago I spent 2 months in hospital with Postpartum Psychosis and then another 3 months with the depression that followed and wouldn’t lift (ECT).

At the time I was told that the PP could be a manifestation of my first episode of bipolar 1. 
I’ve had multiple mild to moderate episodes since, but about 5 weeks ago was diagnosed with a very manic mixed episode which has left me pretty broken and unable to care for my son. With the help of my amazing psychiatrist, on Thursday I awoke feeling I’d “turned a corner”- though the unexpected loss of my beautiful dog on the weekend has filled me with so much grief.
I am wondering what to expect now. Like my previous psychotic episode (which on reflection had very mixed symptoms before the psychosis set in) will I experience horrendous depression again, or will it be bypassed by the fact I’ve already had a 2-for-1 deal?

Interested in hearing how others have felt - especially anyone who had PP

thanks so much x

[holdinghope5]

Hi @Sazza 

Firstly, welcome to the forums!

Thank you so much for sharing, and I'm sorry to hear about your dog passing. I can hear how heavy things have been for you. While I can’t speak from personal experience, I really appreciate you reaching out, and I’m sure others with similar experiences will have some valuable insights to share soon.

[Dimity]

Hi Sazza. Sorry to hear you're so depressed and feeling unable to care for your son. And condolences on your dog. Do you have personal and professional supports?

I guess I have Bipolar 1. My psychiatrist just says bipolar. I've had psychotic breaks. I'm usually depressed. I've had antidepressants in the past but took myself off an SSRI several years ago and my psychiatrist is unwilling to prescribe more. He's suggested a mood stabiliser that might help.ive been on a maintenance dose of an antipsychotic for years. 

Have you considered reviewing your meds? Or asking your GP for a Mental Health Care Plan to see a subsidised psychologist?

Mixed states can be very unpleasant. Sending you warm wishes to help navigate. I use a free mood/activity tracker called Daylio I can also use for brief journal entries. 

Best wishes to you and your son... sending gentle virtual hugs 🫂 🫂