29-05-2019 08:58 PM
29-05-2019 08:58 PM
30-05-2019 09:32 AM
30-05-2019 09:32 AM
Hi @Shaz51
This is really rough on you and I hope I never put my daughter through something like this
I think I understand your Mum - I get it that she is independent and wants to do things her way - her choice etc - but she is getting frail at the end of all of this and other people tell she can't really manage all of this and it makes me wonder
It's a tough thought but I wonder if she is actually ready to leave - my father reached this stage - he was just short of his 91st birthday and I had bought him a card and a stamp that I still have all these years later - he was tired and didn't really understand his stroke I think - he mentally folded his hands and as he was a man of faith I understood.
He had lived a great life - he left me with so much love and so many good things to think about I feel he is in the next room and I know he is not but feel he is not far away.
Can you talk to your mother about this Shaz? - I know it's really hard - I can only look and think about my own experience
Sending my love - as much as I can
Your second Mum
Dec
30-05-2019 11:34 AM
30-05-2019 11:34 AM
Hugs @Owlunar , @Former-Member , @Former-Member , @Ali11 , @outlander
@Owlunar, my second mum
I think my mum has had it , she does not want more surgery , she is nearly 88 and she sais she has had a good life
I think she would just like to stay home and potter around
the other family members tell me to do this or do that which is hard , I think I will just have to be firm and say what my mum wants and they should repects her wishes xxx
30-05-2019 11:53 AM
30-05-2019 11:53 AM
I agree @Shaz51
Your family members will have their own opinions and want to have their say and try and influence you to have this done or that -
But you are right - I am positive your mother doesn't want any more operations and you can tell your relations - your mother has her own life and rights and her wishes need to be respected
My mother had a lot of bowel surgery and at the end of her life apparently bowel obstructions - I really didn't know much about it because this was my sister's domain and I wasn't welcome and kept out of it -
It's a difficult time
Dec
30-05-2019 04:53 PM
30-05-2019 04:53 PM
@Owlunar, I am here if you have any questions bowel obructions and bowel surgery and your mum , only if you want to xxx
30-05-2019 07:04 PM
30-05-2019 07:04 PM
Thans @Shaz51
Mum died of a stroke when she was 94 a few years ago - but it remains true I didn't know anything about her bowel problems during the latest years of her life
I can only imagine what that was like - and she had a miserable time after Dad died - but that wasn't the only problem
Dec
30-05-2019 07:26 PM
30-05-2019 07:26 PM
hugs my second mum @Owlunar
my mum had a stroke 12 years ago xxxxxx
30-05-2019 07:27 PM
30-05-2019 07:27 PM
30-05-2019 07:45 PM
30-05-2019 07:45 PM
Can i ask if your mum is still mentally well as in she doesnt have dementia? -- atthe moment she is ok @outlander
she is showing signs of dementia and her sister thinks so too
so will need to interact more in the futher xxx
30-05-2019 07:52 PM
30-05-2019 07:52 PM
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