Good morning to you dear @Shaz51
So sorry to hear about your Mum. Its so hard isnt it? My Mum is much the same. I know she is confused and forgetful over everything these days. My Mum also can be told something several times and its not sinking in. She is forgetting how to use the microwave, the washing maching, the oven. But uses excuses to cover it up and to fend off questions about why she isnt doing any washing or cooking etc. So she is sneaky enough to know to try to cover up her inadequacies. And I dont believe her GP is aware of how bad things are for her at home. Again she covers things up and is not honest about how bad her memory and comprehension skills have become. My Mum is also cancelling appointments made for her by her GP or my brother.
My brother visited her a week or two ago and it happened to be at lunchtime, and she was cooking lunch for herself and my dad. My brother rang me from there and told me what she was cooking. I must say it sounded delicious and nourishing! She was frying up twiggy sticks (the little skinny sticks that you usually have on a nibbles platter) and serving them on a slice of very mouldy bread. Yuuuummmm! The thing is that she had plenty of fresh food in her fridge, but I think she just didnt know what to do with it. Oh dear ......... !!!!
So I understand what you are going through with your Mum, unfortunately it sounds very familiar. I am really desperate to get down to visit my Mum and Dad and try to put some measures in place to help out somehow. I just need hubby well enough, and that will require hospital time first. Which we are still waiting to hear that a bed is available.
But its hard knowing what can be done. Like your Mum, my parents are refusing all outside assistance. Every day I talk my Mum and speak about the merits of getting meals on wheels. Things which should resonate with her - economical, fresh, nutritious, someone to talk to, wont have to worry about cooking, less urgency to shop. And also about getting a nurse in to help with showers for herself and my Dad. At present Dad has a shower every few months at best. And Mum forgets when she has showered and when she hasnt. A nurse could also check on their medications, because despite the convenience and ease of Webster Packs, she gets it wrong all the time. She has half a dozen packs at home for each of them, all started and many clearly having been missed or others doubled up. Or a cleaner to help out with toilets bathrooms and some vaccuuming. But no ... she keeps saying they are coping just fine. Yeah ... sure! So frustrating.
I spoke to my psych about it when I saw her last week. She explained that I can talk to her GP about how things really are for her. Apparently family can speak to them about their concerns, but they are not permitted to tell you anything. But the conversation can be a one sided one, which is allowed. If I were there and able to talk to her GP, I would do so. But its difficult when I am all the way up here, some 7 hours away.
Clearly @Shaz51 , both your Mum and my Mum have a problem with deteriorating cognition. Clearly they would benefit from more assistance. But they are currently in denial. I think @Former-Member 's Mum is in a different situation entirely. She is aware that she may have a declining memory function, and it concerns her. Thats an indication that she does not really have a problem at all. At least for now, her self awareness is intact.
I dont know what to advice Shaz, I really dont. I truly wish I knew, because I could use that same advice.
Waves to @outlander @greenpea @Owlunar
Sherry 🌺🤗💕
