I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I’m not ok @AuntGlow but I’m trying

[Captain24]

It was hard @Ru-bee. She asked how things were going and I just blurted it all ok before I could chicken out. 

I just got home from grocery shopping and it was shift change at self serve and the girl that was in didn’t even smile so that was great!

I now have to pack it all away. I tried to get different forms of protein to have for dinner for the next couple of days hoping that it entices me and I can talk myself into it. 

Im really tired and struggling at the moment. 

[AuntGlow]

I appreciate you sharing this with me @Captain24, I can certainly see how hard you're trying. How would you feel about me asking you what you need for the next 5 minutes when you tell me you're not okay? (Just so we can think of in-the-moment strategies that aren't too overwhelming.) ☺️

[Captain24]

I don’t know @AuntGlow. I need some sleep. I need to clean the kitchen and ensuite. I need to clean the floors. I need to do the ironing. I need to unpack the dishwasher. 

I guess it’s the kitchen and the ensuite they are the easiest. 

[AuntGlow]

Okay, great identifying! @Captain24 

You've mentioned sleeping first, but also that cleaning-wise the kitchen and ensuite will be easiest - what do you feel would be best for your wellbeing in this moment? 💛

[Captain24]

For my wellbeing it would probably be sleep. @AuntGlow. To achieve something though is cleaning. I haven’t done much today. Just pack the dishwasher, wash my work jumper, have a shower and go grocery shopping. So it’s not much. I haven’t really achieved much for the day. 

[Ru-bee]

Not every day needs to be jam-packed with productivity, it's okay to have days where you don't tick off everything on your list @Captain24 Though I do relate, I'm feeling a bit bad that I haven't gotten more done today as well, though like you I have done a couple of things at least. 

[Captain24]

I feel that being productive makes me be able to say that I have achieved something @Ru-bee. Be able to say I’ve been recovery focused. I expect so much of myself. But I can’t face any more. I can’t face any more of the day. I just feel the need to curl up and cry but I won’t allow myself to cry. 

[AuntGlow]

It's tough, because feeling a sense of accomplishment or joy in an activity can really help with our mental wellbeing. But it's hard to connect to that if we are exhausted... and it sounds like your body needs lots of rest right now. I know allowing ourselves to cry is hard, but I wonder if allowing yourself that release would help a bit here? @Captain24 💛

[Ru-bee]

Like you said earlier, sleep would be really productive right now, maybe if you're not able to go to bed you could still let yourself rest @Captain24?