Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Jane241]

My 30 year old daughter moved back in with me and last weekend was hospitalised with psychosis.  She has had a few episodes over last 18 months and first time hospitalised.  Each time drug induced and was in an abusive relationship and has been diagnosed with PTSD. Hospital psych said she may have BPD and she is getting an appointment with psychiatrist to get a diagnosis. The latest psychosis resulted from beloved pets dying, not taking antipsychotic meds, taking ice and other poor lifestyle choices. She was seeing CATT team by telehealth and as it was going on for about a month up and down I persuaded her to go to hospital as I was concerned she was not taking meds and still on ice. 

She discharged early as couldn't wait another day to see psychiatrist,  so now I feel we are on our own. She has started seeing a psychotherapist and has booked in GP and drug counsellor tomorrow. Intends to go to NA meetings.

The ongoing paranoia is very difficult and is causing a lot of up and down. She is convinced her malicious ex has hacked her phone, even though she got a new one before going into hospital. I had the house scanned while she was in hospital as she was convinced he has bugged the house. 

She wants to get her phone and laptop checked and her paranoia about this is impeding her recovery. 

She says the voices have gone but she is certain she's been hacked. I'm worried that nothing will convince her, but at the same time I want to do as much as I can to help (and all of this is very expensive!).

She had a phone detox yesterday afternoon and really benefitted from that and had much more rational insight (which she often does), but when she was on it again in the evening she was back down the rabbit hole.

She is still working when she can and wants to live a normal life, but seems to be impossible without a smartphone nowadays.

Also I am going away on a work trip overseas on Friday for 11 days and her sister will stay, her father and brother will visit. But I'm worried that she will get worse without me there. 

Any advice would be much appreciated. I don't know what to do for the best. 

[Nickelodeon]

Hello,

I have paranoia as well and I feel like I should get time to sleep that is important and community always helps she can get into family and people that nurture the relationship with people.

I hope her all the best.

[Jane241]

Thank you.  That makes sense.

[Mumstheword1]

Hi @Jane241 

I'm new to this chat group but can relate so well to yr story and I can feel yr hurt and pain.

My sons 26, he started drugs young, ended up on meth, has had 3 major psychotic episodes each one worse than the next. The last 5-6 yrs I've had to learn some real tough love and many a time I thought my son was going to die.

I had to put my foot down for my own mental health and the rest of the family, and he now knows never to ask to live with us or ask for money.

He hated me and he would beg me for help but I kept saying no. I cried myself to sleep many a night.

 it was super hard watching him couch surf then living on the street but it had to be done bcause i was enabling him. 

I thought I was loving him, helping him but I wasnt. Ijust gave him money to keep living that lifestyle and crap habits.

He has been in rehab 3 times and is currently clean. He's finally agreed to see a psychiatrist who I'm sure will diagnose him with schophrenia and then the newspaper begins.

Through all this, I have learnt I MUST come first and boundaries with my son are imperative. I also see a regular psychologist so i can talk about it.

Believe in yrself and you can do this 🙏🙏

[Jane241]

Hi @Mumstheword1 

Thank you for your advice and support. I haven't got to tough love yet but I am learning the need to set strong boundaries and protect myself.

There's so much backwards and forwards with any progress that I don't know what to do anymore. At the moment I've decided to stop trying to help and being the safety net for consequences of poor decisions. 

I hope your son has made a turning point and that you can see some progress. It's a hard road.

I was at a funeral this week.  A friend's mother who lived a long life with a strong Christian faith. Her adult son committed suicide (I don't know why), and her daughter, my friend, said in her eulogy that her mother's favourite bible chapter was Job. That really moved me as I thought she must have related to the trials of Job when she lost her son. So I came home and found my bible and have started reading that chapter. I know it's not everyone's thing, but I'm just trying to find strength and ways to get some perspective on this ordeal.

At the moment my daughter is psychotic but she thinks she's fine. She denies taking drugs any more, but says she is stressed as her ex boyfriend has threatened her. It's hard to separate fact from fiction, and I'm at a loss as she won't seek help and she really needs it.

Thank you for your encouragement.  I will get through this!

[Mumstheword1]

@Jane241 

Thank you, I'm not a religious person but will have a look at it.

Sadly drug addicts are experts at lying and you just can't trust them. My son always lied and even today still tells me what he thinks I want to hear, but I know when he lies. Especially when he was psychotic.

Hope yr daughter gets the helps she needs, take care and take a day at a time 

[Synthman]

@Jane241 Hi there. Not quite the same but my wife is suffering from psychosis and incredibly paranoid. She thinks she's being monitored and thinks everyone she talks to is secretly investigating her. It's been slow progress but you kind of have to agree with everything they say rather than  convince them otherwise. Often it's about redirecting their attention to other activities. The main thing they need is time for their brain to recover and time for the medication to work. You have the added complication of bad drugs so again time for that to leave the system.

I think what you've done so far is great. Making sure things are checked for bugs and getting her a new phone. These are legitimate fears she has and it's good you're addressing them. The main thing not to do is stress her out. 

Not sure whether this is helpful.

[Jane241]

@Synthman thank you. Very wise words. I have found it very hard not to rationalise away the paranoid ideas. Eventually as my daughter has recovered the paranoia has disappeared, although there are some ideas that she holds on to. But these are not too problematic and she rationalises how she lets them impact her life.

It's a very difficult thing to live with, for all parties concerned. I hope you also get support.