Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member 

I started this thread on the carers side to keep my decluttering momentum going following on from your thread on the LE side.  When I started it you were on a break from the forums (and hence could not tag you).

Whilst I still struggle with basic home cleaning I have been pleased with our sorting since we arrived here and only have a small amount of stuff that remains unpacked, mostly because we don't have an appropriate cupboard to put it in. Some is tools and I would like to make a tool rack for our shed to store them neatly, have an idea but want to finish our nearly done garden beds first. For the inside stuff, we have a builder lined up to do a small renovation after which we should be able to find a place for the rest. 

If you again need it, gentle encouragement available here. 😁

[Melu]

Hi

I am new to this forum. My husband was diagnosed with a terminal illness just over a year ago.We have had no support (except he had 2 physio appointments). We had to move house last year as our lease ran out and we had to make a choice, to stay and continue renting or do something more drastic. We decided to buy a small home in a holiday resort - he bought it mostly and I am paying off a loan for a few years to fully own it. The move was a big downsize and hard as he was already physically deteriating. We got rid of a lot of stuff but had excess items which we put in storage most of which we got rid of. But we still have a lot of stuff, mostly his tools which he is determined to keep, but other stuff too. Downsizing further has been a drag and is now basically up to me. Motivation low, I hate to admit it but I'm struggling. I work fulltime and help hubby. Seeking a pep up! 

[Former-Member]

Thanks for tagging me here @Former-Member, need a 'declutter' outlet atm, moving house and all 🤪 again :face_with_rolling_eyes:
When did you move there? Those unpacked boxes can be a pain. Out of sight out of mind I guess but sounds like you've done well. Is it smaller?
Storage is always an issue... I reckon every room should have an entire wall of shelf space, with sliding doors 😁

[Former-Member]

Hi @Melu, welcome to the forums. And sorry to hear about hubby's terminal diagnosis and all the effort that entails. I'm downsizing for similàr reasons, it's hard. Trying to squeeze back into tiny two BR unit... Funny how life goes in cycles like that.
Youre kinda in the role of carer I guess, it's draining... do Remember to self care too 💙 Lots of little 'me' breaks.

[Former-Member]

Hello @Melu 

Sending ever so gentle thoughts your way.  Working full time and caring when our partners are struggling to do things is a huge drain and getting some support is necessary for our own mental health and I am happy to tag you in some other discussion threads that might be of help. You certainly don't need to do this on your own.

Where does one even start though when it comes to clutter and motivation???

Yikes Melu I made a dedicated effort to deal with one thing a day, sometimes even that was an effort.  Starting with something small, one drawer or one corner might be helpful. Seeing spots get back into order gave me the motivation to keep going. 

I am a real fan of containerising and this made all the difference for me in relation to keeping things in order (and @Former-Member have my eye on some cube shelving for dedicated storage when we get a small renovation done).   I use all sorts of things as containers, wooden boxes, baskets, plant pots etc. My bathroom cabinet has baskets like the ones pictured, one for dental, one for shaving gear, one for hair products etc

The other tip I picked up along the way that helped me immensely was "one thing in, two things out". Started this with my clothes and after finding a style that really suited me was pleased to ditch the old worn out items that were fit for gardening only along with replacing my undies that were not up to standard to wear in an ambulance 😁.

When he saw my progress Mr Darcy got inspired and started dealing with some of his stuff and together we worked on "our" stuff although he was happy for me to deal with most of it, sometimes though I had to restrain him as he would have got rid of items I use less often but I still enjoy using. Your hubby may not get inspired but if his tools can be stored in a shed/garage etc out of the house (and out of your way) it may be a good compromise.

Will be happy to hear of any successes you have in the decluttering department, no matter how small so please keep posting. 

I have some more DVDs ready for donation today. 

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member, "one thing in, two things out" Yikes, anxiety spiked just reading it. This could actually stupid me buying stuff 😇👍
Containers are great. I do the same thing. The 3 drawers in bathroom
1. teeth and face
2. Hair stuff nails, razers...
3. other
Baskets are God also cause as I agevi can't bend or kneel and need to pull out.

I'm a big fan of

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member 

We moved last August. The boxes are sitting in the room to be renovated where I have my home office set up do not quite out of sight 😵.

I am almost finished clearing a 2 shelf cupboard that was full of DVDs; I could take out the few that are left and start putting my preserving jars and gear into it which would take care of a few boxes (the bottom shelf is already clear). 

Perhaps some cube shelving (a row  of them?) could be a solution as most places don't come with built in wall-to-wall storage. I like how you can get various baskets or doors to fit in the individual squares.

Keep plugging away EOR, as I learnt from you, it is possible to master our mess. 😁😁🐥

[Smc]

HI @Melu, good to meet you. Hope you can find some good support around the forums. I can understand your husband wanting to keep his tools, but it's hard if there's not good secure storage for them.
My decluttering challenge is simply "too much", and an old house with almost no built in storage. And it's amplified by my parents having gone into aged care with an equally overfull house (and shed with some fantastic tools that my Dad has accumulated over his lifetime... along with a lot of other bits and pieces). We're trying to sort and cull what's here so that we can move in the things from there which we really want to keep. And like a lot of carers, Hubby and I spend a lot of our time tired, so doing it in the "small bites" that @Former-Member mentioned is about the only way forward. And it's good for me to be able to swap notes and encourage/be encouraged by others who are in the same position. It can be hard to explain to other friends why a two week blitz of the houses is out of the question.

[Smc]

Stage Two of the tree removal yesterday went smoothly enough. Now, in addition to the big pile of chipped branches that I'm working through, there's also a substantial pile of shredded stump. Whew! But the plus side is, the paths that I'm topping with the chips and shreddings are looking good.

A lot of what we had to move out of the way for the tree removal is building materials. Our rebuild/renovate plans have been delayed for so long, and I honestly don't know when they will happen, so I'm trying to think outside the square for ways of "storing" materials. A lot of the brick pile has been "transformed" into path edgers and steps for the areas where I'm putting the woodchips, and whenever they're needed for building purposes, they can be easily enough retrieved. Some lovely big bits of timber have been neatly restacked with proper spacers between them outside the back door, where they can pretend to be an outdoor bench seat until we can put them into their intended use. Some other materials are harder to find creative short term purposes for, so as much as possible, I'm moving them closer to where I'm intending to use them. Some chunks of concrete rubble, for example, are going to be used to build up the footings for a couple of storage sheds, so they're being stacked near the intended shed site.

[Former-Member]

Bit the bullet after lunch and got the rest of the DVDs out of the cupboard. The ones that are keepers fitted on our bookshelf easily. The rest are ready to go.

One unpacked box from our move which had a few preserving jars (filled with stationery) in it has now been unpacked and the contents put away. As well as this I made a start on moving some other preserving gear into the same unit to keep it all together.  The stationery has been put away into an office desk drawer.