Topic Tuesday // Burnout // 24 Jan. 7pm AEDT

[Former-Member]

hi @purpledahl ... im a teacher too.. and agree its very hard and setting limits/boundaries is important. have struggled with burnout/giving too much of myself etc.. good luck with your return to work.

[Former-Member]

Welcome @GlassHalfFull, it's good to admit where you find yourself.  You're certainly amongst friends.  So interesting that the role has caused you to lose sight of your own identity.  It shows how all encompassing caring for family is.  The role can block out the sun.

What made you 'you' in the past?  What have you given up to help your daughter recover?  Maybe they are the clues to finding your way back.

[Former-Member]

Glad you can be real here with us @Pepsimax.  No mask needed.  I think a good cry can be hugely cathartic.  Do you have a movie that always gets to you?  Mine used to be 'City of Angels'.  If I put that on I could cry for days.  Lets it all out.  Bizarrely my partner uses Lord of the Rings!  Each to their own.  

[Shaz51]

I have  lost  sight of your own identity.too @GlassHalfFull, @Former-Member

after tonight`s talk I am going to bring back things that I used to do before losing my own identity

bring them back one at a time

[Tanoozle]

@GlassHalfFull thank you. I have asked the OT who referred me to carersaustralia as the OT/the hospital does not do training for carers 😞 Sometimes it feels like I'm chasing my own tail. Other times it feels like I'm asking for something outrageous. I know I'm not but at certain points doubt does creep in.

[Former-Member]

Lovely to see you @Former-Member.  Do you think it gets easier to enforce boundaries as you get more experienced in the role?  I'm certainly pretty strong on it these days.  But I can always feel the temptation to give too much.  That doesn't go away.

[GlassHalfFull]

Finding it hard at the moment to accept that things aren't going to magically become 'back to normal'. Have subconsciously been waiting for a day when I say 'ok I can get back to normal now' but quickly realising that I can't put all my humanly needs on hold as I may be required for many many many years ahead!! 

Time for a new version of normal as they say. @Former-Member need remember what on earth made me and start litttle by little. 

[Former-Member]

Suddenly only 10 more minutes!  As usual, our discussion has flown by.  So last chance to add your questions and comments.  I've loved hearing from everyone.  So many shared experiences.

[Tanoozle]

I'm going to slip away now but thank you everyone for sharing your stories tonight. It's useful to know we're not alone and there are some outlets for carers, even simple 'me time'. I'll be looking into the tips and suggestions to keep me going so thank you again! Have a wonderful, restful evening.

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member I think i've gotten better at asking myself what do i have control over? and have i addressed the things that I do have control over? and trying to stay more focussed in that way. Other things im still not so good with. work too many out of work hours etc. tend to be the perfectionist where nothing is quite good enough and more is always needed. some jobs place you where htere is a lot of pressure to 'do more'. but knowing where to draw the line is hard. im not sure if boundaries are easier to enforce because im more experienced but having children gave me reason to ... have new priorities i guess too.